This Sunday’s Success is Claire Malleson who receives a £7 thank you voucher to use on our services this week 🙂
A Make Your Life Brilliant 2014 & Coaching client, Claire has been working out what she wants in her life ……
“When I look in the mirror on my 40th, how do I want to look, feel and be?”……. has been the question Kim has asked me to ask myself several times this year, and in all honesty, has been the focus of my year in some respects. Naturally perhaps? It’s a big thing – for most of us?! Well, on my 40th last week, I actually did not even really look in a mirror!! Irony?
I think my failure(?) to “look in the mirror” and reflect for a few moments on that day was more a sign of how my year has actually been. Crazy. Simple as that! And I am pretty sure I have only survived intact due to the tools I now possess that Kim has helped me to develop.
My year (or thereabouts) with Kim began with a Skype coaching call, last summer. I had spent the year so far doing a job I loved every minute of (I’m an archaeologist, specialising in the study of ancient plant remains, in Egypt). I was enjoying life, settled in Cairo, working out two hours a day in a lovely fancy local hotel gym and was on the way to achieving my ‘dream body’ – all lean and ripped ‘like the girls in fitness magazines’. But I was stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage which was preventing me finally reaching my goals, an all or nothing approach to food – the lettuce, boiled egg, steamed chicken and mountains of chocolate approach to dieting. Not healthy for my body or mind, and I was beating myself up over it. I contacted Kim for help in beating this cycle.
In January 2014 I thought I knew how my work was going to be scheduled for the year – then things changed at the last minute, and before I had a chance to breathe I had given up my own apartment and was living on camp in the Qatari desert for 4 months. I signed up for ‘Make Life Brilliant 2014’. The course helped me to figure out what I actually want to do, where I wanted my life to go, which gave me the motivation I needed to start writing applications. Knowing I needed more support, I signed on for skype coaching with Kim for the rest of the year, to see me through to my 40th birthday!
My initial goals – well, I won’t say they were laughable… ambitious perhaps! I wanted to ‘fix’ everything in one year!! Kim helped me focus on what she realised were the main things – my need for stability, balance and consistency. I have ‘lived’ in 7 or 8 different places this year, and I never know when or where my next job might be with any sense of certainty – so finding stability??? I am learning that it comes from within, of course. Whilst ultimately I do want something secure, I know I thrive off the fun of moving about, new people and new places. As long as I have a sense of stability in having ‘my’ things around me (portable things!!) and – crucially – I stick to a few routines consistently I feel ok! Balance – I’m getting there, in some things! The shift for me has started to come in awareness, being aware when I flip erratically from one side to the other – the day I ate a mountain of oreos was followed by a day of punishing self- deprivation, but then I realised what was happening, so the next day was ‘normal’ day, with one biscuit in it! I have had to manage 2 injuries this year, and feel proud that despite the lack of running in 2014, I have not gained lots of weight, or lost hope in running regularly again in 2015! I have kept up resistance training in spite of only making it to a ‘real’ gym for about 8 weeks of the year, so my hard earned muscle mass does not feel too far off it’s 2013 peak!
So on my 40th? Well, in the three weeks running up to it I had flown between Egypt and Qatar 3 times, around Egypt, and to the UK. I had an application deadline the following day, as well as an appointment with a hire car! I had packed about 6 times. But, how did I look, how did I feel and how was I? Honestly – I felt good. By the time I went out in the evening to meet my friends I felt blessed and lucky to be in that position. Turning 40, surrounded by people I care about, who care about me, who appreciate me for who I really am – a dreamer with determination and persistence, a cake-loving fitness freak, a hard-working academic who is also a boyband groupie! I may not have any of the ‘stuff’ associated with being a ‘proper’ settled adult (!), but I have ambition and drive to achieve my dreams, I have the freedom to choose what I do, and how I do it, I know that self-awareness is one of my most powerful tools.
My goals for 2015? For me, 2015 is the year I want things to come to fruition! 2014 has set me back on the tracks and shown me where some of the fuel is, now I need to finish a few little journeys, so that newer, bigger, more exciting ones can get moving. And I need to stop writing now or I’ll set myself too many goals again!!!
My year of coaching up to my 40th has thrown up so many wonderful surprises – the first time I craved a doughnut, walked into the shop (worrying I’d not be able to choose and come away with three which I’d probably eat in one go) and walked away with nothing because I suddenly realised I did not actually want one!! Amazement!! And it keeps on happening – not just with doughnuts!! I cannot wait to see how I feel this time next year, because I do genuinely feel that 2015 WILL be brilliant!
If you need a little direction and support in establishing and achieving your goals have a look at our Life Success Coaching page.
The Make Your Life Brilliant Course will be starting again soon and we also have two workshops 24th Jan in Bristol and 31st Jan in London, email us at email@example.com for more information.
If you have a story you want to share (success, overcoming challenges, learnings, fun… whatever you want) then get in touch and you can get a £7 thank you voucher off our services for that week…